"You are worth it"

Don’t ever see yourself as a looser, as you are not. As I said before, we’re all winners! It’s hard to believe that, at certain moments in life, but believe me when I say that we can all realize our dreams. You just need to take the leap and have confidence. 

Just think back in time. You’ve already accomplished so many things in life. Things that you took for granted, that you didn’t see as a victory. Just go back. Back to your birth. How’s that for an accomplishment. You got into your first race and you won! And how about starting to walk, talk, ride a bike, … I can go on and on, but that would be boring at the end. I guess I can say: “Point made”. Make a list for yourself and when you’re having doubts, just read it. Every day, try to add just one accomplishment on your list, how small it may seem to you. It will help you grow your self-confidence. 

I know that I’m all into turning negative situations into positive experiences. You must be wondering how to do so. It’s just a thing I learned myself throughout the years. Of course you can talk to people about your setbacks, but please just stop complaining. It will only bring you more down. Just know that, complaining about your problems to other people won’t help you, as they too have their problems. And you know what. Their problems are always ‘bigger than yours’ as they are their own problems and not yours. 

The number of people on anti-depressants is monstrous. We get stuck in that vicious circle. Reasons can be so different. It might be a divorce, your children got on the wrong path, colleagues that bully you all the time, …  

Let me entrust you a story.

A friend of mine didn’t feel happy in life. She assumed her husband was cheating on her, but she had no proof, no proof at all. She just had that gut feeling. So she started to check up on him. As soon as she saw an opportunity, she took his phone to check all there is to check. His messages, the calls he had made, emails, social media, just everything! It made her feel bad, but she couldn’t resist. It frustrated her when she couldn’t find anything. She was starting to feel depressed, all because of the assumption that her husband was having an affair. 

She could no longer hide her feelings, she was lost and didn’t know how to behave when he was around. Soon the situation got worse. She began to doubt herself. Could she no longer inspire him or attract him? All those doubts got her to sink deeper. Instead of just talking to him about it, she started to imagine all kinds of stuff. Who is he seeing? How can I make him love me again? Where will I end up if he leaves me? … 

Not weeks, but months, she was possessed by the thought. She had a hard time getting up in the morning. Het zest for life had vanished. All energy was far gone. The once so cheerful lady was no longer there. The twinkle in her eyes had disappeared. Her relationship deteriorated visibly. Her husband began to avoid her. Her friends pulled out. 

Finally she went to the doctor. She was prescribed anti-depressants. They would take her from the deep valley and make her happy again ... How can you get out of the valley if you do not even tackle the problem at the base.  

A few weeks ago her husband was out with friends, she didn’t feel to join them. So I decided it was time to visit her. We started talking and again she raise the subject of her husband cheating on her. She was completely upset. She then started to text him, but got no answer. At least not within the first half hour. “See!” she said, “He’s lying. He’s not out with friends, he’s out with her!”  

She then took a pill out of the box. I grabbed her hand and asked her why she needed the pill. "To deal with the situation.”, she said, “ I feel less depressed when I take it. I can handle everything better.” "Wtf?!? This has become a vicious circle. Instead of tackling the problem at the base and starting the conversation, you are taking a pill?!”, I said. “Why do you text him while you were welcome to join him? Do you want to go through life this way? Drugged and paranoia? Every little setback gives you an extra reason to take a pill. Just dare to leap. The longer you postpone it, the further you wander from reality! You have two possible outcomes here: or you talk about it and work on your relationship or you say goodbye to each other and you each go your own new way. It’s as simple as that! And you can be sure that anyhow life will be a lot more pleasant!”  

Every reaction he would have made on that text message, would have made her take that pill. If he would have answered immediately, she would have thought he was hiding his ‘mistake’. Answering after 30 minutes was a confirmation of his unfaithfulness. Not answering … Well I guess she would have taken two instead of one …  

She eventually started the conversation with her husband. He had an extramarital relationship and suddenly uttered the complete truth. What had only been about feelings in the past few months - according to him - she had stimulated, because of her behaviour, into a relationship. Bullshit if you ask me. Anyway, the truth was known at last. However hard that may be. You can only put it in a positive light if you know what it means.

Talking gives you a clear view of the situation. What if he had actually had a relationship months back and she had known this immediately? He could have talked to her about her behaviour instead of ‘falling in love’ with another woman. They could have talked about it and tried to work it out. It’s not because you step out of a relationship that you have failed, no. Do you want to wonder for the rest of your life if there was not a better party for you? Someone who loves and carries you on his or her hands? Someone you want to share your deepest secrets with? 

Anyway, my friend and her husband have decided to split up. It took her months to get over the break, but she can finally see the positive things about it.

If she would have stayed with him, she wouldn’t have moved to this nice neighbourhood where she now lives. She has finally found peace and is not always suspicious about various issues. She follows courses and does the things she likes. She has found the strength to continue and looks very positively to the future as well as to what happened in the past. This twist in her life has been the salvation for her from a negative situation.

My advice. Just ask when you’re having doubts. And if the answer is ‘negative’, just imagine how it could have ended up when you didn’t. By asking and daring to know the truth, you will speed up the process to happiness. Believe me. Rather know it now then in a couple of months, or years. Change your life now. Look at the positive side and always believe in a perfect outcome. Don’t settle with less than the best as you are worth it!


© Vicky Drappier – Dare to leap

"Nu is de tijd gekomen dat ik kan zeggen IK BEN ..."

Tijdens de laatste sessie van de Master Leap classes moet iedereen iets naar voor brengen gezien ze op dat moment al heel wat aan zelfvertrouwen hebben teruggewonnen. Toch nog dat extra stapje zetten, het podium op en uit de comfort zone. Wat M. op dat moment voor ons bracht gaf me een krop in de keel …

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‘Je gewoontes houden je in de tang’

Je ‘gewoontes’ houden je in de tang. Hoe we denken, ons gedragen en reageren op onze omstandigheden is wat ons steeds op diezelfde plaats houdt. We ‘zijn’ onze gewoontes. We voelen ons eenzaam, dom, niet goed genoeg, we kunnen geen neen zeggen, we hebben een hekel aan onze job … Het houdt gewoonweg niet op!

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Ontsla die bitch en laat haar je leven niet leiden!

Hoe komt het dat wanneer je nieuwe doelen stelt voor het nieuwe jaar, je de neiging hebt om al na een paar weken op te geven? Stel je jezelf die vraag elk jaar opnieuw of begin je allerlei excuses te bedenken om ervoor te zorgen dat je je niet slecht voelt? Excuses om ervoor te zorgen dat je omgeving, je familie en je vrienden je niet uitlachen? Heb je schrik voor de mogelijke reacties? Wist je dat het je ego is die het van je overneemt?!

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“As long as you keep focus on your goal, you’re on the right track”

The universe provides us with new ideas, all day every day. It’s up to us to welcome and do something with them or just ignore and waste some great possibilities and chances in life.

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"You cannot sow and harvest in the same season"

When you have a dream, a new idea to proceed in life, you plant a seed in your mind. We all know very well that when you plant a seed, you need to water it, feed it in order for the seed to grow. You need to give it all your attention and love. Same goes for your ideas and dreams.

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"Don't run away from awkward situations, you never know what they can bring."

During our life we get confronted with situations beyond our control. Situations that we didn’t ask for. Things that happen to our loved ones and that effect our lives emotionally as well. The easiest way would be to run away and ignore those situations. But hey, that’s not how it works! This is the third time that I am confronted with a similar situation … First my grandad, than my grandma and now a dear friend … Alzheimer’s …

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"Follow your intuition, it will lead you to great new adventures!"

A few months ago I got to know quite a few nice people while attending a course. One by one, people who all want the same thing in life: understand how our mind works with the ultimate goal to help people in feeling happy again with their lives. Coaching and guiding people in achieving their goals in life, pursuing their dreams and see to it that step by step they make progress in a positive way. We help them deal with possible setbacks and negative experiences. Make them shift their minds from negative to positive.

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"Get fuelled by your own ideas!"

We all have dreams in life, we do, we really do. Perhaps you don’t know what your dream is, but start by opening up in finding those dreams. We’re a creation of nature. Created in perfection. We all have a purpose in life. Plants, trees, just everything you see in nature doesn’t have to think about growing. It has no fear, it just does. We people tend to overthink to much. It’s what holds us back on acting and growing.

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"What you think awakens your feelings and emotions"

We all know the feeling of being down. I certainly do. But as I hate that feeling, I’m always trying to get it out of my system within a few minutes or hours. Sometimes you can’t describe the feeling, you just can’t describe why you are feeling down. You just do.

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"Never give up on your dreams"

For over twenty years I had a dream. Something I really wanted to do in life. Something to see and to feel. I never gave up on that dream and on April 30th 2019 that one dream finally came true. The fact that it took me so long shows that sometimes you must put your dreams aside for the time being, but keep them awake. Hold on to them as I did.

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“Ready to open up?”

I shared quite some of my experiences of life with you. Last week I even shared a piece of my diary. I feel no shame, no. I decided a real long time ago, that hiding from the world is not the way how to live life. I also always embraced the outcome of the choices I’ve made.

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“Giving in can be redeeming, freeing yourself from the past”

I’ve made several decisions in life and when I start to think about It, I’m even more convinced that my life 'could’ have been totally different. Not moving forward, but staying in my comfort zone with no action at all. Just life as I would know it, day in day out.

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"I committed myself to one of my dreams"

Making choices in life isn’t easy, but necessary if we want to grow in life. I often get the question on how I make choices. How do I know what is the perfect decision to make. Well, as I said before several times, it’s that gut feeling you have.

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"Fine is the devil in you!"

ME: “How are you doing?” … YOU: “I’m fine” …

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'How' I do it!

In life, there are different routes from present to future. It takes energy and courage to take that leap and move forward. I know, it has taken me a while to do so to, but I just did, as I hate negative feelings and thoughts. As I said before, no way I would like to go into that deep dark abyss.

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"We're all special"

We have four kids at home. Three boys and a girl. It can be quite busy sometimes, as we have two dogs as well. But hey, at least I can say that there’s always movement in our house. With all those different characters its even more exiting.

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“A challenge that made me choose a different path”

Very often in life, you find yourself at a crossroad. Up to you to make the perfect decision at that time. Sometimes unforeseen circumstances can show you a path that you never would have thought about before. Most of the times - but not always - you may have the choice to stay in the same situation as you know it, but life won’t get better that way. It’s a status quo. Nothing to gain. No progresses to make.

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"Courage is all we need"

Live life on your own terms is something that has kept me going all my life. You could call it stubbornness or even quirkiness but that’s how I went through life so far. And I don’t intend to do differently.

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"That first big leap"

We all are impatient. We know the path that we want to follow, but we don’t see the mountain we have to climb to reach our destination. We are impatient and tend to give up, very often too soon.

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"Life is like a game of Jenga"

Four different stories I gave you. Four different possible 'setbacks’: Letting go of your kids, Losing your entire ‘fortune’, The death of a loved one and finding Love. I know, it’s just the top of the iceberg. No worries.

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"Love is out there"

Never regret the choices you have made, it's too late anyway! Deal with the consequences and you will have learned a lesson. In future you will think about possible effects before making an important choice. Just trust yourself, follow your gut feeling instead of waiting, doubting and let time pass you by.

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October 18th 2000. I was only 26. A day that I’ll never, ever(!) forget. What for most of the population started off as an ordinary day, was to me a day when ground just sunk from under my feet.

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“How bankruptcy changed my life”

One of the toughest moments in my life, was the day when I was forced go to court and file for bankruptcy. The feeling of defeat was indescribable. I completely lost my self-confidence. I was lost.

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"Unexpected twist"

What seemed as a negative experience turned out to be a gift from heaven. A few days before Christmas, I received negative news on a professional level. At least, that was what I had made of it at first. What would feel like a defeat for most of the population, I see as a blessing. It only took me three hours before awareness hit me.

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