"We're all special"

We have four kids at home. Three boys and a girl. It can be quite busy sometimes, as we have two dogs as well. But hey, at least I can say that there’s always movement in our house. With all those different characters its even more exiting. It’s quite a challenge to approach everyone one with the same story but in a different way. We are open and share all there is to share with one another. Honesty is something that is a priority in our family.

A few years ago my youngest son and I were having a walk with the dog. The only moments during the day that we could have some quality time, as I was running a business. Somehow I always knew he was ‘different’. He used to have an extra room in the house that we called his ‘atelier’. The room was filled with paint, brushes and a canvas easel that he had inherited from his great-grandfather. Paper in all possible sizes and colours. An incredible number of scissors with different cutting surfaces. A true craft workshop where he spent all possible hours. His creativity knew no restrictions.  He was and still is my artist. He loves tinkering and making drawings. He even makes dreamcatchers, what is very rare for a boy.

When he was very young, I guess at the age of 4, I noticed that he was unlike my oldest son. I know, they all dress up at a young age and wear mom’s shoes at one time. But still, I just could feel that he was different. He was very affectionate and kind of introvert. I always had to be very carefull when saying something, just to be sure not to hurt him. We decided to have him undergo a number of tests to better understand his character and behaviour. Results indicated that he’s high sensitive and that we had to adjust our way of communicating with him.

Anyway, when we had our walk with the dog we had a memorable talk. It was during summertime. The sun was shining and we were at a charming place in the centre of town. Weeping willows brighten up the place and provide some shade. It’s quite romantic and peaceful over there with benches on the waterfront. You wouldn’t say you were in a big city, that charming it is.

I guess my boy was only twelve at that time. We were talking about relationships as mine was about to end. I don’t recall why exactly but I just popped the question: “Are you gay?”. He looked at me with twinkling eyes and said: ”Yes I am”. “Ok, so my guess was right. And, are you a ‘pure sang’ or are you going to taste both sides?”. “Oh yes, he answered, I’m pue sang, I don’t like tits”. I just started laughing and felt great as he had made a huge leap in being sincere about it. No need to hide your true feelings. As when you do, you forbid yourself to be happy. You can’t be your true self. No one should hide their real selves.

Now that he’s older - he turned nineteen end of October - we got to meet some potential boyfriends of him. We got introduced into the ‘gay world’. Not in their way, but as parents. I must say that it’s a strange world. There still are a lot of boys hiding their true personality from their families. How can you live with yourself if your life is based on one big lie? How can you get up in the morning all happy to start the day. Always being careful so that your parents wouldn’t find out. Looking over your shoulder with every step you take. You see those people alienate from their families.
I see a lot of possible relationships going all wrong when one of the two hasn’t come out of the closet. Once they get the courage to inform their parents, you see them blossom up. They evolve in a way that was unexpected. They start to experiment with makeup, the dressing style just changes and they even start to act differently. How they walk, that female touch is finally getting out.

We live in a time where being ‘gay’ is no sin. Not in our Western world. For decades people have fought for the right to be accepted as who they are. Even celebrities have struggled but dared to show their true personality. Take for instance Freddy Mercury, Elton John and even George Michael who took a long time to come forward, but did. And how about Cher? What a woman! Her strong opinion, extravagant outfits on stage and her impressive career make her an icon in the LGBT community.

We all have bought records of one of these artists. We all like to sing along with various hits of them. If we had the opportunity to go to a concert to see them perform, we couldn’t resist, right?
Sorry to say, but are we hypocrites? Who are we to like these artists but not excepting the way our own kids are. Only just for fear of comments from people in our environment. Yes, we are hypocrites as long as we don’t accept our children for who they are and don’t feel ashamed about it. Never feel ashamed of your kid’s orientation!

So, we already now for quite some time that our boy is gay. And honestly, who cares! As long as he is happy, it’s fine by us.

To you who’s scared to inform your parents … You can never disappoint them with the person you really are. Your parents love you no matter what! We as your parents have made you, so we are the ones ‘responsible’. Your parents love you no matter what! And when you finally dare to take the leap and come out of the closet, the world will open up. You will finally be able to be the person who you really are and not a fake person trying to please his family in acting as somebody he’s not. Nobody should go threw hell by ‘acting’ his whole life.

To show you how weird things can go. As my boy never made a secret of it that he’s guy, our youngest kid, well the kid of my husband, came forward. Only thirteen and already knowing what she wants in life. Having the freedom and knowing that there is nothing wrong with being gay. So we have two gay kids, no blood relatives, but still. What are the odds, right?
We are a happy family and we don’t point the finger to one another, on the contrary.
My oldest boy is a stud, so? He likes women. Although he has a relationship already for four years, he followed his heart to leave the country and live at the other end of the world. His girlfriend will follow him once she finishes her studies. It takes trust and courage to live life that way.

© Vicky Drappier

"Nu is de tijd gekomen dat ik kan zeggen IK BEN ..."

Tijdens de laatste sessie van de Master Leap classes moet iedereen iets naar voor brengen gezien ze op dat moment al heel wat aan zelfvertrouwen hebben teruggewonnen. Toch nog dat extra stapje zetten, het podium op en uit de comfort zone. Wat M. op dat moment voor ons bracht gaf me een krop in de keel …

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‘Je gewoontes houden je in de tang’

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Ontsla die bitch en laat haar je leven niet leiden!

Hoe komt het dat wanneer je nieuwe doelen stelt voor het nieuwe jaar, je de neiging hebt om al na een paar weken op te geven? Stel je jezelf die vraag elk jaar opnieuw of begin je allerlei excuses te bedenken om ervoor te zorgen dat je je niet slecht voelt? Excuses om ervoor te zorgen dat je omgeving, je familie en je vrienden je niet uitlachen? Heb je schrik voor de mogelijke reacties? Wist je dat het je ego is die het van je overneemt?!

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“As long as you keep focus on your goal, you’re on the right track”

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"You cannot sow and harvest in the same season"

When you have a dream, a new idea to proceed in life, you plant a seed in your mind. We all know very well that when you plant a seed, you need to water it, feed it in order for the seed to grow. You need to give it all your attention and love. Same goes for your ideas and dreams.

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"Don't run away from awkward situations, you never know what they can bring."

During our life we get confronted with situations beyond our control. Situations that we didn’t ask for. Things that happen to our loved ones and that effect our lives emotionally as well. The easiest way would be to run away and ignore those situations. But hey, that’s not how it works! This is the third time that I am confronted with a similar situation … First my grandad, than my grandma and now a dear friend … Alzheimer’s …

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"Follow your intuition, it will lead you to great new adventures!"

A few months ago I got to know quite a few nice people while attending a course. One by one, people who all want the same thing in life: understand how our mind works with the ultimate goal to help people in feeling happy again with their lives. Coaching and guiding people in achieving their goals in life, pursuing their dreams and see to it that step by step they make progress in a positive way. We help them deal with possible setbacks and negative experiences. Make them shift their minds from negative to positive.

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"Get fuelled by your own ideas!"

We all have dreams in life, we do, we really do. Perhaps you don’t know what your dream is, but start by opening up in finding those dreams. We’re a creation of nature. Created in perfection. We all have a purpose in life. Plants, trees, just everything you see in nature doesn’t have to think about growing. It has no fear, it just does. We people tend to overthink to much. It’s what holds us back on acting and growing.

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"What you think awakens your feelings and emotions"

We all know the feeling of being down. I certainly do. But as I hate that feeling, I’m always trying to get it out of my system within a few minutes or hours. Sometimes you can’t describe the feeling, you just can’t describe why you are feeling down. You just do.

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"Never give up on your dreams"

For over twenty years I had a dream. Something I really wanted to do in life. Something to see and to feel. I never gave up on that dream and on April 30th 2019 that one dream finally came true. The fact that it took me so long shows that sometimes you must put your dreams aside for the time being, but keep them awake. Hold on to them as I did.

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“Ready to open up?”

I shared quite some of my experiences of life with you. Last week I even shared a piece of my diary. I feel no shame, no. I decided a real long time ago, that hiding from the world is not the way how to live life. I also always embraced the outcome of the choices I’ve made.

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“Giving in can be redeeming, freeing yourself from the past”

I’ve made several decisions in life and when I start to think about It, I’m even more convinced that my life 'could’ have been totally different. Not moving forward, but staying in my comfort zone with no action at all. Just life as I would know it, day in day out.

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"I committed myself to one of my dreams"

Making choices in life isn’t easy, but necessary if we want to grow in life. I often get the question on how I make choices. How do I know what is the perfect decision to make. Well, as I said before several times, it’s that gut feeling you have.

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"Fine is the devil in you!"

ME: “How are you doing?” … YOU: “I’m fine” …

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'How' I do it!

In life, there are different routes from present to future. It takes energy and courage to take that leap and move forward. I know, it has taken me a while to do so to, but I just did, as I hate negative feelings and thoughts. As I said before, no way I would like to go into that deep dark abyss.

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“A challenge that made me choose a different path”

Very often in life, you find yourself at a crossroad. Up to you to make the perfect decision at that time. Sometimes unforeseen circumstances can show you a path that you never would have thought about before. Most of the times - but not always - you may have the choice to stay in the same situation as you know it, but life won’t get better that way. It’s a status quo. Nothing to gain. No progresses to make.

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"Courage is all we need"

Live life on your own terms is something that has kept me going all my life. You could call it stubbornness or even quirkiness but that’s how I went through life so far. And I don’t intend to do differently.

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"You are worth it"

Don’t ever see yourself as a looser, as you are not. As I said before, we’re all winners! It’s hard to believe that, at certain moments in life, but believe me when I say that we can all realize our dreams. You just need to take the leap and have confidence.

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"That first big leap"

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"Life is like a game of Jenga"

Four different stories I gave you. Four different possible 'setbacks’: Letting go of your kids, Losing your entire ‘fortune’, The death of a loved one and finding Love. I know, it’s just the top of the iceberg. No worries.

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"Love is out there"

Never regret the choices you have made, it's too late anyway! Deal with the consequences and you will have learned a lesson. In future you will think about possible effects before making an important choice. Just trust yourself, follow your gut feeling instead of waiting, doubting and let time pass you by.

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October 18th 2000. I was only 26. A day that I’ll never, ever(!) forget. What for most of the population started off as an ordinary day, was to me a day when ground just sunk from under my feet.

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“How bankruptcy changed my life”

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"Unexpected twist"

What seemed as a negative experience turned out to be a gift from heaven. A few days before Christmas, I received negative news on a professional level. At least, that was what I had made of it at first. What would feel like a defeat for most of the population, I see as a blessing. It only took me three hours before awareness hit me.

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