"Love is out there"

Never regret the choices you have made, it's too late anyway! Deal with the consequences and you will have learned a lesson. In future you will think about possible effects before making an important choice. Just trust yourself, follow your gut feeling instead of waiting, doubting and let time pass you by. 

As I mentioned before, I got married twice. The first time to the father of my two children. We ran a business together. Our relationship lasted for about ten years. Two strong personalities that could not be more different. But we came along very well. Actually, the last few years we lived together, were more like a brother-sister relationship. We had quite some setbacks and we both had a totally different perspective on life. Romance was completely gone from our lives, so we split up. 

Although our kids hoped for a long time that we would get back together, they now laugh at the idea. We have no common interests, except those of our children. No matter how hard the decision might have been at the time, I have no regrets. No regrets that I’ve taken the difficult path. Start all over again. Find a home, a job when all I had ever known was run my own business. I now had to raise my kids full time, mostly on my own, and make sure I got all bills payed in time. 

No need to say that it has been a rough time. All things we had accomplished as a couple, such as our own property, the business, … I left it all behind. We, my kids and I, started off with a mattress, put on the floor in front of the heater in the living room. We would sleep there together. We got some small stuff from friends and family. Little by little, I got to buy new furniture and make a new home for us. We had a great time. I could enjoy my kids to the fullest. Just the three of us. 

A few years later, I met my second husband. Sure, I’ve had a few relationships in between. But nobody that could keep me interested. I had a great time with my kids and I couldn't bear any form of comment on them. So, when I got to meet my second husband and he was all into the kids - and visa versa - I simply said ‘yes’  when he popped the question. I now know that it wasn’t wise to have my decision depend on that. Sure, I loved him, but it all went too fast. I hardly knew him for a year. That episode in life now feels as one huge setback. At first we had some nice moments, but after a short while he could no longer hide his true nature. I have fought for a better outcome. The relationship lasted for precisely seven years, day to day. Believe it or not, here too I don’t regret the choices I've made. I’ve learned a lot of lessons during that time. The most important one is: You can never oppose addiction if the person in question is not willing to quit or does not want to go into treatment. You can try several times to make them change their mind, but never ever let them ruin your life and bring you down with them. You are not responsible for the choices people make. You are only responsible for yours. 

You probably assume that I had lost faith in love. Well, I did not! As I had my grandparents setting the example. After fifty years of marriage they still crossed the street hand in hand. They had raised seven children and were still in love after all this time. 

I now ran my own business as a divorced woman. Business was hard, debts were sky-high, so I just ‘smiled’ my way through the day. One evening my youngest son came into my office: “Mom, the only people you get to see and talk to, are the people that come into the business every day. They have nothing new to tell you. On the contrary. They are only interested in your private life and in getting to find out all the juicy details. You have no friends outside the business. Why won’t you register online and get to know new people. You need friends, you need to go out and meet new people!” And so I did. I started chatting with lots of nice people. It’s perfect when you can just get to know each other’s interests before you even get to meet. I had no time - and no money - to go out at night to have a drink while hoping to get to meet someone who could generate my interest. Some people I wrote with, shared their deepest secrets as they had the urge to tell their story. Family and friends often didn’t want to listen to their lamentations anymore. In a way it gave me a familiar feeling. As for me I didn’t feel the need to share my stories, I was already questioned and judged every day, all day. 

Oh yes, it’s true. I have to admit. And believe me, nothing to feel ashamed about. Actually I'm proud say that I’ve met my true love via the internet. People still look weird when you say you’ve met each other through a dating site. We are now living together for over five years and it just feels great! We can still talk for hours and not get bored. We complement each other perfectly. Together we work on the future, our future. We have full confidence in each other and we lift each other to higher horizons. I received all possible support and love when I had to go and file for bankruptcy. He didn’t run off and left me. No, he stood by me as I stand by him in difficult situations. That’s what a relationship is all about. Loving and caring. He’s my support and refuge. And again, it all comes down to trust. Without that, it would simply not work out. 

Our family now consists of four children, three boys and a girl. Aged thirteen to twenty-four. We also got two dogs that complete the picture. So it definitely is a full house when everyone is at home! Sure we have our differences. There have been several discussions in the past. There's nothing wrong with that. It got us to know each other better. We now know that we can rely on each other. We all have our vision on life. In order to live together, we give each other enough space and freedom to preserve our personality. We are open and honest but most of all, we have trust. 

So my advice to you after two failed marriages is that loving someone is giving them the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to! Just dare to leap and never give up on love! True love is out there. It will find you at the most unexpected moments. Open up for new adventures and always live life on your own terms. 

© Vicky Drappier

"Nu is de tijd gekomen dat ik kan zeggen IK BEN ..."

Tijdens de laatste sessie van de Master Leap classes moet iedereen iets naar voor brengen gezien ze op dat moment al heel wat aan zelfvertrouwen hebben teruggewonnen. Toch nog dat extra stapje zetten, het podium op en uit de comfort zone. Wat M. op dat moment voor ons bracht gaf me een krop in de keel …

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‘Je gewoontes houden je in de tang’

Je ‘gewoontes’ houden je in de tang. Hoe we denken, ons gedragen en reageren op onze omstandigheden is wat ons steeds op diezelfde plaats houdt. We ‘zijn’ onze gewoontes. We voelen ons eenzaam, dom, niet goed genoeg, we kunnen geen neen zeggen, we hebben een hekel aan onze job … Het houdt gewoonweg niet op!

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Ontsla die bitch en laat haar je leven niet leiden!

Hoe komt het dat wanneer je nieuwe doelen stelt voor het nieuwe jaar, je de neiging hebt om al na een paar weken op te geven? Stel je jezelf die vraag elk jaar opnieuw of begin je allerlei excuses te bedenken om ervoor te zorgen dat je je niet slecht voelt? Excuses om ervoor te zorgen dat je omgeving, je familie en je vrienden je niet uitlachen? Heb je schrik voor de mogelijke reacties? Wist je dat het je ego is die het van je overneemt?!

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“As long as you keep focus on your goal, you’re on the right track”

The universe provides us with new ideas, all day every day. It’s up to us to welcome and do something with them or just ignore and waste some great possibilities and chances in life.

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"You cannot sow and harvest in the same season"

When you have a dream, a new idea to proceed in life, you plant a seed in your mind. We all know very well that when you plant a seed, you need to water it, feed it in order for the seed to grow. You need to give it all your attention and love. Same goes for your ideas and dreams.

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"Don't run away from awkward situations, you never know what they can bring."

During our life we get confronted with situations beyond our control. Situations that we didn’t ask for. Things that happen to our loved ones and that effect our lives emotionally as well. The easiest way would be to run away and ignore those situations. But hey, that’s not how it works! This is the third time that I am confronted with a similar situation … First my grandad, than my grandma and now a dear friend … Alzheimer’s …

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"Follow your intuition, it will lead you to great new adventures!"

A few months ago I got to know quite a few nice people while attending a course. One by one, people who all want the same thing in life: understand how our mind works with the ultimate goal to help people in feeling happy again with their lives. Coaching and guiding people in achieving their goals in life, pursuing their dreams and see to it that step by step they make progress in a positive way. We help them deal with possible setbacks and negative experiences. Make them shift their minds from negative to positive.

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"Get fuelled by your own ideas!"

We all have dreams in life, we do, we really do. Perhaps you don’t know what your dream is, but start by opening up in finding those dreams. We’re a creation of nature. Created in perfection. We all have a purpose in life. Plants, trees, just everything you see in nature doesn’t have to think about growing. It has no fear, it just does. We people tend to overthink to much. It’s what holds us back on acting and growing.

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"What you think awakens your feelings and emotions"

We all know the feeling of being down. I certainly do. But as I hate that feeling, I’m always trying to get it out of my system within a few minutes or hours. Sometimes you can’t describe the feeling, you just can’t describe why you are feeling down. You just do.

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"Never give up on your dreams"

For over twenty years I had a dream. Something I really wanted to do in life. Something to see and to feel. I never gave up on that dream and on April 30th 2019 that one dream finally came true. The fact that it took me so long shows that sometimes you must put your dreams aside for the time being, but keep them awake. Hold on to them as I did.

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“Ready to open up?”

I shared quite some of my experiences of life with you. Last week I even shared a piece of my diary. I feel no shame, no. I decided a real long time ago, that hiding from the world is not the way how to live life. I also always embraced the outcome of the choices I’ve made.

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“Giving in can be redeeming, freeing yourself from the past”

I’ve made several decisions in life and when I start to think about It, I’m even more convinced that my life 'could’ have been totally different. Not moving forward, but staying in my comfort zone with no action at all. Just life as I would know it, day in day out.

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"I committed myself to one of my dreams"

Making choices in life isn’t easy, but necessary if we want to grow in life. I often get the question on how I make choices. How do I know what is the perfect decision to make. Well, as I said before several times, it’s that gut feeling you have.

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"Fine is the devil in you!"

ME: “How are you doing?” … YOU: “I’m fine” …

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'How' I do it!

In life, there are different routes from present to future. It takes energy and courage to take that leap and move forward. I know, it has taken me a while to do so to, but I just did, as I hate negative feelings and thoughts. As I said before, no way I would like to go into that deep dark abyss.

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"We're all special"

We have four kids at home. Three boys and a girl. It can be quite busy sometimes, as we have two dogs as well. But hey, at least I can say that there’s always movement in our house. With all those different characters its even more exiting.

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“A challenge that made me choose a different path”

Very often in life, you find yourself at a crossroad. Up to you to make the perfect decision at that time. Sometimes unforeseen circumstances can show you a path that you never would have thought about before. Most of the times - but not always - you may have the choice to stay in the same situation as you know it, but life won’t get better that way. It’s a status quo. Nothing to gain. No progresses to make.

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"Courage is all we need"

Live life on your own terms is something that has kept me going all my life. You could call it stubbornness or even quirkiness but that’s how I went through life so far. And I don’t intend to do differently.

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"You are worth it"

Don’t ever see yourself as a looser, as you are not. As I said before, we’re all winners! It’s hard to believe that, at certain moments in life, but believe me when I say that we can all realize our dreams. You just need to take the leap and have confidence.

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"That first big leap"

We all are impatient. We know the path that we want to follow, but we don’t see the mountain we have to climb to reach our destination. We are impatient and tend to give up, very often too soon.

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"Life is like a game of Jenga"

Four different stories I gave you. Four different possible 'setbacks’: Letting go of your kids, Losing your entire ‘fortune’, The death of a loved one and finding Love. I know, it’s just the top of the iceberg. No worries.

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October 18th 2000. I was only 26. A day that I’ll never, ever(!) forget. What for most of the population started off as an ordinary day, was to me a day when ground just sunk from under my feet.

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“How bankruptcy changed my life”

One of the toughest moments in my life, was the day when I was forced go to court and file for bankruptcy. The feeling of defeat was indescribable. I completely lost my self-confidence. I was lost.

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"Unexpected twist"

What seemed as a negative experience turned out to be a gift from heaven. A few days before Christmas, I received negative news on a professional level. At least, that was what I had made of it at first. What would feel like a defeat for most of the population, I see as a blessing. It only took me three hours before awareness hit me.

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