“Giving in can be redeeming, freeing yourself from the past”

I’ve made several decisions in life and when I start to think about It, I’m even more convinced that my life 'could’ have been totally different. Not moving forward, but staying in my comfort zone with no action at all. Just life as I would know it, day in day out.

That’s just not me. I’m an energetic woman who likes challenges in life. No need to stick to things that do not bring me the progress and happiness I had in mind. No, the only way going forward in life and making progress, is by leaving things behind. Daring to leave things you have loved in the past, that are now a dead waste. DO NOT take the weight on your journey. It will slow you down, it will be a burden on your shoulders and make you feel miserable in the end.

I will give you an example. Again, one of the things in life that happened to me and that made me take a 180° turn in life. For almost a year my private life had been hell. I ran my own business, worked for 18 hours a day and my former husband was being … Well, let me share a small piece of my diary from back then with you. A pure moment …


“Diary of a lonely woman”

May 23rd 2013 - 03:25 AM

It’s important for me to get through this period, no matter how though and hard it will be.

My thoughts are chaotic, dazed, but above all lonely.
I am looking for a way to get through this period, a way out of this situation. I want everything that swirls through my mind put on paper.

You went "off" on the day we were exactly 7 years together (May 21, 2013). You left me behind - stunned and orphaned - with the goal of getting better. It is hard to say, but peace has finally returned. Time to pick up the thread, put my shoulders under our misery and finally reaching the goal. You left me alone, in our life and with our life, for quite some time now. Your alcohol abuse, which is undoubtedly due to an event from your past, made you a person who always reaches out for the bottle to avoid reality. I have always tried to steer you in the right direction, but I must admit that I can no longer help you on my own. I hope from the bottom of my heart that this is the ultimate solution for you.

To you: Search for yourself, look at who you really are. Dare to look! Look into your heart, look for the person with whom you feel comfortable and talk. Let go and open up, so that you can also be open to others. Sober up and look at reality! First think of yourself, what you want to achieve in life. Look for that dream, find out what can make you happy, take the time. We will support you and will be there for you in this difficult period.

Today was a mentally tough day, a fucking hell of a day! Facing your parents, my mother, sister and brother-in-law, but especially having to face you. It hurts to leave you there, regardless of the fact that I think it's necessary. You walked dazed, stunned by the medication. With a tightness in my chest, a tight pain and oh so distraught and lost, I looked at you. I looked at your posture, I looked at your hands. Lonely and lost in thought, I struck you today. Why did you let this escalate this way? What went wrong here? Why can't I save you?

I have to think clearly. I have to keep my feelings and our future separate.

I must think clearly to ensure that this mess is resolved as quickly as possible. We must be on top of this before we perish. We’ll see how we will both end up. How we will develop in the coming months, when you will finally be here as your true self, but each living his own life.

May 24th 2013

You are home, what a chaos! You do not belong here, I am against it, this is not going to work, for nobody! You have to get out, you have to be helped, you confuse us, this is not ok. I want you to go. You can't stay here, I don't trust you in any way.

May 25th 2013

It’s 05:12 AM. I just finished working. You are no longer here. You had drunk, so I sent you away, back to the clinic. A friend went with you, I didn't want you go alone, I don't trust you. We’re all confused … the children, the dog. I have got to sleep. I don't miss you right now. I am angry, hurt and everything is just chaos. I have to let go, I cannot feel and think. I must keep my mind focused.

May 27th 2013 

Monday, I feel physically broken. Finally closing day. I have a cold, feel bad. I should feel cheerful, and I am, but the amount that comes at me is frightening. I'm in a complete transformation, like all four of us by the way, and it weighs in enormously. I hope we get there with the business. I hope you can recover forever, regardless of the time you need for that. But we can't stand still, we have to move forward. The wagon, heavily loaded, must be pulled forward for now. The business is our biggest and only source of income. The debts are sky high and we have to get the hell out of this. I can't walk around with my head down. I have to find the strength to get on top of it.

The catering industry is not a life for you. The stress is too much, the rushed life that never comes to an end, the responsibilities ... One day you will say that this is indeed not a life for you. That you have discovered yourself and that you have other dreams.

I have to close my emotions - for the time being - and think ahead. I cannot let my emotions influence my work. I have to go forward into the harsh wind, knowing that many people are supporting me. It will be okay.

To you:

Home is behind you, the world is ahead of you.
Go seek the adventure, go and seek for yourself.
Dare to dream and live!
But live your own life instead of living your life throughout others.
No more collateral damage …

May 29th 2013

During the course of the day, one of my suspicions has been confirmed. The one promise that you were never allowed to break ... Too bad you even went that far! I have asked you several times, but you always denied! No more excuses, this is one bridge too far!

This strengthens me in my decision to go on in this life with my children, and leaving you behind. I don't have to tell you what I got confirmed. I’d been looking for the answer to my question a little longer than today. Everything comes out in the end, as it were a blessing from above.

I am going into total metamorphosis. Now we must start with such a mess in front of us. No more lamentations, only excited by life, there is nothing else left for me. Fighting with conviction and full dedication to all those past years and the suffering it has brought with it.

To you: Play time is over. Time for yourself to dig deep inside and see what you really want to make of your life. Do you want to perish further in the destruction or do you want to get somewhere in this life? Do you want to be proud of what you have achieved? 

I'm going to support you if needed, but no longer as your partner. No, today I have finally closed that door. The lies are piling up and you had given me your word ...  What is your word worth? 

I have to take a distance. I can no longer allow such things to affect my life. I must arm myself if I want to survive this journey with the children. 

May 30th 2013

Here I go, full speed ahead! The beginning of a new chapter in life. I did it! I made a choice that will change my life as I’ve known it. I will take all consequences and effects as I know that I will evolve to a new and better life.


So now you got to read my thoughts at the time I made the decision to get a  divorce. It took me a while to make a 180° turn, but it has been a good one. I know that if I wouldn’t have made that decision, my life would be quite sad right now.

Every day you need to make choices, small ones and bigger once. Up to you to define which ones are big or small. Only you can judge your life. Just judge it the right way. Always put yourself on top of the shelve. Be proud, be grateful and be yourself. Stop lying to yourself and dare to take action. Don’t give up, but know that giving in can be redeeming. Freeing you from your past. Decisions you have made in the past. Wrong or right …

Life can turn out black or white, dark or brighten. What path do you choose? How do you want to spend your life from now on? The dark side or the bright side?

Dare to leap now!

“Giving in can be redeeming, freeing yourself from the past”

"Now the time has come for me to say I AM ..."

During the final session of the Master Leap classes, everyone must bring a piece for the group, as they then have already gained a lot of confidence. Still they have to make that extra step by getting on stage, out of their comfort zone. What M. did on stage just gave me goosebumps ...

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'Your habits keep you locked'

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Dismiss that bitch and don’t let her take control!

How come, that when you set new goals at new year, you tend to give up after only a couple of weeks? Do you ask yourself that question every year all over and over again, or do you start bringing up all kind of excuses to make sure you don’t feel bad about yourself? To make sure that your environment, your family and friends wouldn’t laugh at you? Are you scared about their reactions? Well you know what … it’s your ego taking control!

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“As long as you keep focus on your goal, you’re on the right track”

The universe provides us with new ideas, all day every day. It’s up to us to welcome and do something with them or just ignore and waste some great possibilities and chances in life.

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"You cannot sow and harvest in the same season"

When you have a dream, a new idea to proceed in life, you plant a seed in your mind. We all know very well that when you plant a seed, you need to water it, feed it in order for the seed to grow. You need to give it all your attention and love. Same goes for your ideas and dreams.

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During our life we get confronted with situations beyond our control. Situations that we didn’t ask for. Things that happen to our loved ones and that effect our lives emotionally as well. The easiest way would be to run away and ignore those situations. But hey, that’s not how it works! This is the third time that I am confronted with a similar situation … First my grandad, than my grandma and now a dear friend … Alzheimer’s …

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"Follow your intuition, it will lead you to great new adventures!"

A few months ago I got to know quite a few nice people while attending a course. One by one, people who all want the same thing in life: understand how our mind works with the ultimate goal to help people in feeling happy again with their lives. Coaching and guiding people in achieving their goals in life, pursuing their dreams and see to it that step by step they make progress in a positive way. We help them deal with possible setbacks and negative experiences. Make them shift their minds from negative to positive.

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"Get fuelled by your own ideas!"

We all have dreams in life, we do, we really do. Perhaps you don’t know what your dream is, but start by opening up in finding those dreams. We’re a creation of nature. Created in perfection. We all have a purpose in life. Plants, trees, just everything you see in nature doesn’t have to think about growing. It has no fear, it just does. We people tend to overthink to much. It’s what holds us back on acting and growing.

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"What you think awakens your feelings and emotions"

We all know the feeling of being down. I certainly do. But as I hate that feeling, I’m always trying to get it out of my system within a few minutes or hours. Sometimes you can’t describe the feeling, you just can’t describe why you are feeling down. You just do.

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"Never give up on your dreams"

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“Ready to open up?”

I shared quite some of my experiences of life with you. Last week I even shared a piece of my diary. I feel no shame, no. I decided a real long time ago, that hiding from the world is not the way how to live life. I also always embraced the outcome of the choices I’ve made.

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"I committed myself to one of my dreams"

Making choices in life isn’t easy, but necessary if we want to grow in life. I often get the question on how I make choices. How do I know what is the perfect decision to make.

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"Fine is the devil in you!"

ME: “How are you doing?” … YOU: “I’m fine” … We all know that answer, don’t we? We’ve all used those exact words before. No need to feel ashamed about it, but hey, maybe high time to change! It’s easy to switch from fine to great, you’ll see. Just trust me.

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‘How’ I do it!

In life, there are different routes from present to future. It takes energy and courage to take that leap and move forward. I know, it has taken me a while to do so to, but I just did, as I hate negative feelings and thoughts. As I said before, no way I would like to go into that deep dark abyss.

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"We're all special"

We have four kids at home. Three boys and a girl. It can be quite busy sometimes, as we have two dogs as well. But hey, at least I can say that there’s always movement in our house. With all those different characters its even more exiting. It’s quite a challenge to approach everyone one with the same story but in a different way. We are open and share all there is to share with one another. Honesty is something that is a priority in our family.

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“A challenge that made me choose a different path”

Very often in life you find yourself at a crossroad. Up to you to make the perfect decision at that time. Most of the times - but not always - you may have the choice to stay in the same situation as you know it, but life won’t get better that way. It’s a status quo. Nothing to gain. No progresses to make.

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“Courage is all we need”

Live life on your own terms is something that has kept me going all my life. You could call it stubbornness or even quirkiness but that’s how I went through life so far. And I don’t intend to do differently. Oh yes, I could have taken the easy path on several occasions, but I decided to follow my heart, my gut feeling. The consequences were not always that easy, on the contrary. You can call me a striver that only goes for the best. To me, the choices I made, were only to be happy in life.

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“You are worth it!”

Don’t ever see yourself as a looser, as you are not. As I said before, we’re all winners! It’s hard to believe that, at certain moments in life, but believe me when I say that we can all realize our dreams. You just need to take the leap and have confidence.

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“That first big leap”

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“Life is like a game of Jenga”

Four different stories I gave you. Four different possible 'setbacks’: Letting go of your kids, Losing your entire ‘fortune’, The death of a loved one and finding Love. I know, it’s just the top of the iceberg. No worries. Every topic will be analysed to the tiniest details. Other topics can be fully discussed.

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“Love is out there”

Never regret the choices you have made, it's too late anyway! Deal with the consequences and you will have learned a lesson. In future you will think about possible effects before making an important choice. Just trust yourself, follow your gut feeling instead of waiting, doubting and let time pass you by.

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“Goodbyes”

October 18th 2000. I was only 26. A day that I’ll never, ever(!) forget. What for most of the population started off as an ordinary day, was to me a day when ground just sunk from under my feet.

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“How bankruptcy changed my life”

One of the toughest moments in my life, was the day when I was forced go to court and file for bankruptcy. The feeling of defeat was indescribable. I completely lost my self-confidence. I was lost.

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“Unexpected twist”

What seemed as a negative experience turned out to be a gift from heaven. A few days before Christmas, I received negative news on a professional level. At least, that was what I had made of it at first. What would feel like a defeat for most of the population, I see as a blessing. It only took me three hours before awareness hit me.

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