Dismiss that bitch and don’t let her take control!
How come, that when you set new goals at new year, you tend to give up after only a couple of weeks? Do you ask yourself that question every year all over and over again, or do you start bringing up all kind of excuses to make sure you don’t feel bad about yourself? To make sure that your environment, your family and friends wouldn’t laugh at you? Are you scared about their reactions? Well you know what … it’s your ego taking control!
We have two different voices inside our head. You need to know how to recognize them and act upon them. You have an inner voice. That voice is honest and is helping you in making progress in life. It supports you, it helps you make those really important decisions in life. Opposite to that, you have your alter ego, your other ‘you’. It is formed by all the events that have passed your life. It lives in your subconsciousness and is responding to all conscious thoughts you have. It is trying to keep you at that exact same place as always before and it is trying to take you down. You need to recognize that voice and dismiss it. Your ego is evil, like a little devil. It just laughs at you and wants to keep you in that same exact spot as you have always been … your comfort zone.
You might ask now ”how can I recognize it? Where can I find the difference between my true inner self and my alter ego, my other me?” Well, know that your ego is formed by your past, out of expectations from your environment and society. As I told before, we are programmed. We tend to live our lives according to the expectations of society. We were told lies in the past, really. We just believed those ‘lies’ as it were your parents, teachers, your grandparents or maybe it was your first love who told you those lies. Maybe you were told that you are a loser, a bad kisser, a failure, ugly, … All these believes live in your subconsciousness. We saved all those experiences in our memory as at that time they were shocking to us. Your subconsciousness is your personality. How you live your life today and how you act and react upon certain circumstances.
Now say for instance that you are on a diet. You have a hard time in hanging in there. You have tried several times before, but without success. So, you already have some negative experiences on that issue. But you have a goal. You have confidence that this time you will succeed.
So day one, there you go! You are all excited in starting that new program, that new schedule. You have confidence. You think about it consciously. You can imagine yourself wearing those pants or maybe that dress that’s been waiting for you in your closet for a long time. You are eager for that moment when you finally can close up that button of your pants. Finally be able to put on that dress.
Those first days your ‘will’ keeps you on track. You are persistent, confident and happy, although it isn’t always easy to avoid the things you really like. But you have a goal. Without knowing it, your ego has already tried several times to let you give in. Trying to convince you that “just one” wouldn’t hurt. Your true inner voice has been protecting you. As you are so persistent and you have a goal in mind and really want to succeed, your ego has no chance.
But then you get invited to dinner party. All your friends will be there too. You just know that you’d better not go, as you could be seduced by all that yummy food. Perhaps it could encourage you to stop following your diet. But then all of a sudden your ego starts talking to you. “Oh why shouldn’t you go? It’s just one evening. You can sin against your diet today and then tomorrow you can be extra careful. Eat a little less then.” So you let that little voice convince you and you head down to that dinner party. You enjoy the nice food and while you are doubting to have some more, as you still want to pay some attention, that voice is telling you to let go for this evening. Now that you are here you should better enjoy yourself. So you have some more.
But as soon as you head home, that evil voice appears again: “Hey you! You are a loser! You cannot even hold on. You messed it up. There is just nothing that you can do right! Big time loser, that’s what you are!”.
Your inner self starts arguing with that voice. Telling your ego that you are sorry and that from tomorrow on you will be more strict, but it just doesn’t shut up. “Yeah sure, tomorrow, it’s always tomorrow, … You have no backbone, you’re no good!”
You start feeling awful, guilty and even embarrassed. Just all negative feelings start taking over.
Your ego will play that game over and over again. Maybe it’s not going on a diet but rather quitting smoking, exercising or going in search for another job…
However, inevitably you start doubting yourself after only a few days or weeks. Finally you give up… again. Back to that old routine. You’ve failed… again.
If you want to recognize that voice or just recognize the difference between your inner true self voice and your ego, then simply pop the question: “Is that so?” And you know what, your ego will come up with tons of excuses why again you didn’t make it. It will shush you down.
Don’t jump into conclusions and see yourself as a failure.
Dismiss that bitch and don’t let her control your life!
© Vicky Drappier